024

Cosplay. According to the internet, cosplay or costume play is a form of art in which people dress up as characters or ideas. This past weekend, a couple of friends of mine and I cosplayed for SacAnime. So my friend and I have been wanting to cosplay since our freshman year of high school and we finally hit the local fabric store and whipped out the sewing machine to make sailor fukus, a Japanese school girl uniform. We even had a couple people who wanted to take pictures with us.

It was pretty fun and now I get to cross off "cosplay" on my bucket list of things I want to do. Costumes are fun to wear because it allows you to be someone else while you're wearing it but by the end of the day, I am glad I can just be me.

Photo courtesy of Elaina Khoo

023 sweat

Sweat is fluid produced by sweat glands in our skin that percolates out of our pores. I've always wanted to use "percolate" in an entry and I'm not sure if I used it in the right context but I'll use the excuse that I'm no English major.

I've been doing the Insanity workout with some friends of mine and first 10 minutes into it, I'm pouring a storm. I guess genetics placed upon me overactive sweat glands. Sean T knows how to work you hard. In his words, "Get fit or GET OUT". Super encouraging I know.

Last week during our pharmacy orientation, my roommate was describing an awful experience she had with one of the transfer students in our incoming class. We'll call him Joe. Joe was talking, quite audibly, with his fellow transfers about our incoming class's overall GPA. He claimed that the rather low number was due to the fact that the pre-pharms didn't have to work at all to get into pharmacy school and that it was unfair of the advantage they had over other non-pre-pharms. After this, my roommate was paired up with him for an exercise and Joe asked her where she went for undergrad to which she replied, "Pacific" and Joe ignored her for the rest of the exercise.

I was so angry after hearing her story. I thought to myself, "How dare he judge us even before meeting us!" I'm at fault for having pre-conceived notions about people as well, but this guy's actions afterwards were just plain RUDE. I can attest that, maybe not for all but for most, pre-pharmacy students at Pacific work their ass off to get into the Thomas J. Long School of Pharmacy. We have shed blood, tears, and sweat to get this far and for someone to dismiss our labor as diminutive, well I have a pretty finger for you buddy.

So I've never pointed the middle finger at anyone, but to think it means I'm pretty mad. Despite his less than friendly demeanor towards my kind, I extended grace to him. While standing in line for the Rite-Aid BBQ, sweating in my business attire under the cruel Stockton sun, Joe was standing right behind me, talking about going to Barnes and Noble to study. I turned around and offered that he should try studying at the Health Science library or the main campus library so he could save gas. He said thanks and I resumed my place in line feeling less mad and filled with more love, but still sweaty.

022

Snippets of this past weekend:

After 3 grueling long hours inside Faye Spanos, the PharmD Candidates of 2013 emerge to the bright, outside world where we were surrounded by loved ones. Here's my freshman and sophomore roommate from undergrad Anna aka Roomie.

My favorite Pacific Copts and I saying "GIBNA!" to the camera.

My #1 supporters, through thick and thin, and oh how I love them.

021

Pharmacy school has been very intense and everything I expected it to be. It's challenging and all the information I am learning is everything I need to know and want to know about this profession, place, and business. This entire week, I have woken up at 6:30AM to prepare for classes from 8AM til 12PM and then usually labs and discussion until 5PM. By the end of the day, I'm pretty tired but I have to hit the books so I don't fall behind. Most nights I go to bed at around 1-2AM and I rewind and grind again. I know I'll get used to the schedule but right now, it's been hard waking up these past few days.

Something else I learned this week, not only do pharmacy students work and study hard, but they play hard too. I think the past few nights have been filled with going out, clubbing, and indulging in adult beverages haha. I guess from all the stress and workload, we need some type of outlet to let loose.

When I look back on this blog and this particular entry some odd years from now, I want to say this to my future self: "Antoinette, your first week of pharmacy school was overwhelming and super fun. First day of lab, you're already learning how to inject shots! You've had over 100 pages of reading. And as an intern pharmacist, you can do everything a licensed pharmacist can do except hold the key to open the pharmacy. I can't believe you and Anna went clubbing. Stay away from strobe lights. Tracy Joy is pretty wild. Also, you're pretty crazy even when you don't have any alcohol in your system. Please continue to be the DD".

First week has been great being back at school. In one of our books we're reading, it says that to be a pharmacist you need to be a lifelong learner and let me tell you, I've learned so much within these past few days and I am looking forward to the next three years. Dr. Dinh will soon be in.

020 jesus walks

Often times while I'm driving and listening to the radio, I flip stations to hear my options. Wanting to gauge my ears out with a large pitchfork after hearing Katy Perry's "California Gurls" play on three different stations at the same time, I decided to pop in Kanye West's The College Dropout. This album is pure gold. I'm glad my opinion of hip-hop and rap has changed within the past year and a half. I'm ashamed to admit that I stereotyped this type of music with ghetto-Blacks only interested in sex, money, and power. Granted, there's a lot of music out there like that but I'm glad albums like The College Dropout exist to give me hope and insight on the world's issues. One of my favorite songs on the album is "Jesus Walks" mainly because Mr. West skillfully addresses the issue of why the media shies away from the subject of faith, but readily embraces sex, violence, etc.

I ended up buying his first three albums and though 808s & Heartbreak was alright and I have to listen to "Power" a couple more times to absorb what he's trying to say, I got to admit that I miss the old Kanye of his College Dropout days. But I'm looking forward to what he has to say and offer. Thanks to those who opened my eyes to this often misunderstood, poetic world.

019

See you later summer, we'll meet again in three years. Time to leave the little girl behind and step into my big girl shoes.

NAAAAAAAAW lol FOREVER YOOOUNG!

018 an august adventure

This adventure involves Australians, a broken bone, and cardboard.

It's amazing how time flies by and in this case, it was 30 years for my dad to reunite with his best friends from high school after they escaped the Vietnam War. Within that time, my dad and his buddies were able to share stories and laughs over dinner at our house for the past few days. One of his friends, who managed to escape to Australia, Bac Hua has two daughter my age. So I had the wonderful opportunity to show these Aussie girls around NorCal and let them try wonderful things such as In'N'Out Burger, YogurtLand, and California Sourdough.

On their last evening in the area, we went to the Cheesecake Factory with my uni friends, Josh and Sam. I tried Sangria and Long Island Iced Tea for the first time! On top of a glass of white wine that I had earlier at the house, it was a very delightful evening with new and old friends.

Afterwards, Josh motioned for an adventure with not much detail. Putting faith in our friend, we decided to go along with it. It was 12:30AM and we ended up at an empty park with these massive stone slides embedded in a steep hill. If you have ever seen Avatar: The Last Air Bender, think of those mail chutes in King Bumi's earth kingdom - that's what those slides looked like. Since the slides were not made out of plastic, like normal playground slides, we had to use sheets of cardboard to slide down these slides to prevent burns. It was hectic fun. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my body as I would see my friends fly down. Eventually, it was time to wrap things up. Before heading back home, Sam decided to slide down one more time in super speed. We watch him slide down and literally fly off the end of the slide, his cardboard disappearing into some random direction. Sam didn't move so Josh and I ran down to check on our friend to see Sam swearing and holding onto his shoulder. He tells us that he landed on his shoulder and thinks his collar bone broke. OH SHOOT.

It's 1:30AM by now and the 5 of us head off to the nearest emergency room to treat Sam. I'm pretty sure the Aussies weren't expecting to be waiting in the ER on their last day in America. Sam is admitted and we wait, and wait and wait. Apparently, the doctors forgot about Sam for about an hour. Josh ended up driving the Aussies back to their motel so they can get ready for their drive down to LAX. Josh and I wait for Sam and when he came out, he told us that all they did was put his arm in a sling and gave him some ibuprofen...haha. There was a lot of back and forth driving since Sam was unable to drive his car, on account of his broken collar bone. Eventually, everything got taken care of and by the time I got back home, it was 4 AM.

Talk about one crazy night! Shut the gates!

017

One of my favorite greetings I learned in Egypt is cheek kissing where two individuals kiss each others cheeks alternately. It's normally done between same genders. At first, I was very surprised when an older Egyptian woman would lean her face toward my face, all the while I was thinking, "WOAH, TOO CLOSE TOO CLOSE!" and she would lovingly kiss my cheeks about 2-4 times. I got the hang of it where I was greeting all my good female Egyptian friends that way. It was a wonderful way to show someone that I was genuinely happy to see them. I wish people would convey that more, in any form, whether it be a hug, a simple question inquiring about their day, or a smile. We're just too busy, it seems, to even do that.

016

My Epic Egypt Adventure

The above text is a link to a newsletter I made in Microsoft Word detailing my experiences and the lessons learned on my mission's trip to Egypt this summer. Yalla beena!

Also, some things I did not include in my newsletter:
+ Jumped in the Red Sea
+ Only got sick ONCE, and it was on the last day (thanks for all your prayers!)
+ Jumped on a donkey cart and garbage truck
+ Sailed on the Nile River
+ No one could really pronounce my name haha so I gained 7 new nicknames: Magnoona, Nerfertiti, Armoot, Georgette, Nighty, Foofy, & Netty

015

"Then we can land in the motherland,
Camelback across the desert sand".
Lupe Fiasco's "Paris, Tokyo"

Riding a camel across the Giza Desert with the Pyramids as our backdrop was definitely not an expectation on my trip, but was surely fulfilled. More adventures to come.

014

In less than 24 hours I will be boarding an airplane for a 6 week summer adventure across the globe serving the people of Cairo with only 3 shirts, 3 pants, 5 pairs of panties and socks, my Bible, and toiletries. This is going to be intense. If God can feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, I'm pretty sure I can get by with a limited wardrobe and comforts.

It hasn't really hit me yet but I'm sure it will once I am completely by myself. Dude! @_@
Rabena maak.

013

Spent the afternoon in good company and eating delicious homemade curry and macarones. My friend and I got to talking about our families, which brought me to tears. It's amazing how much our parents struggle for us no matter what they went through.

When I came home, I asked my mom about my dad's past. This is what she told me: "When your daddy was young, he was very poor. His dad was killed when he was very young. He had 7 siblings. His parents gave him away because they couldn't afford to take care of him. He lived with different aunts and uncles from month to month. He spent half his time in Vietnam living in a Buddhist monastery. One of the nuns, who was his aunt, stored up enough money for him so he could escape the Vietnam war.

He will never stray from Buddhism, no matter how hard you try Antoinette, because of this".

That Buddhist Societies class I took my freshman year never really gave me any deep understanding as to why my parents were raised Buddhist, but in the brief 10 minutes I spent with my mom, I understand now.

My eyes tear up whenever I think about the struggles my parents went through to become the people they are today. I'm always grateful.

Dad and I in Banff, Canada (2008)

012

So I just read chapter 498 of Naruto and I really liked it. No spoilers! To commemorate this week's chapter, I did a quick, little doodle. I will be sad when this manga ends but I think it'll be another 2 years before that happens haha.

Kishimoto, please bring back Sai too! ;^;

011 Dayne

One of my biggest pet peeves, next to not refilling the toilet paper while you're on the can so that the next person is only left with one square or an empty roll, is indecision.

Not saying that I'm not a victim of indecision as well. I dislike the feeling of being trapped deciding among choices, even if it's as benign as choosing what ice cream flavor I want to eat.

I can only imagine what a life of indecision would be like. It's impossible to truly be yourself if you're always in a constant state of ambivalence. How is it possible to find yourself when you're split in the middle? Maybe indecision comes from the ego and simply being is from the soul.

Indecision springs from decision's hesitation. Oh yes it does! So let's not live lives of indecision because at most, our lives would be interesting. I don't want interesting, I want a freaking adventure!

010

Jasmine is a Persian name. Its meaning comes from the flower that shares its namesake. People have said that the name Jasmine also reminds them of a pretty, gentle, and free-spirited girl.

Let me tell you more about the Jasmine I know.

"Pretty" does not do her justice, in fact, she is RADIANT. I would compare Jasmine to a clear night sky - shining, bright, face comparable to the full moon and hair like a meteor shower against a blanket of black velvet.

And like the night sky, the depth of our friendship is fathomless and beautiful. The blessings of this sisterhood is numerous like the stars.

Genuine, honest, trustworthy, insightful, loving, thoughtful, respectful, fearless, sensitive, emotional, curious, are a few words to describe her.

She shares a deep love for the world's peoples, justice, simplicity, and ridiculousness :) I don't know who else would dress up as a takami roll for Halloween, support a child in Thailand, speak out against the sex-trade, live in an apartment with the bare necessities, invite me to pick strawberries and green eggs, stalk old people with me while whispering in their ears, dress up as secret agents and pretend to be body guards, visit me even though we go to different schools, cry with me when I share my heart, laugh with me because we met a little boy who looked like Prince Zuko, or get fat with me while eating free samples at Farmer's market.

Any guy would be so fortunate to be with her! I'm so excited to see what the future has in store for my dear Jasmine.

This is a glimpse of the Jasmine I know and you should get to know her.

009 Jasmine

This is the Horsehead Nebula that is embedded in the vast and complex Orion Nebula. The "head" is actually a large cloud of dust.

It reminds me of a black knight piece escaping a chess board in the sky. Let's call him Nebbie.

Instead of being confined to a game where every move has been strategically planned out beforehand, Nebbie is saying, "Screw that! I'm jumping off this mind-game!" without knowing where he's going to end up or what he's going to do. I like Nebbie's boldness, even if it may seem haphazard. At least he's found a place in the sky with a nice view.

When they say that the sky's the limit, it really is.

008

Ever wonder why you were given the name you have? I used to hate my name for the longest time because it was so different from all the other kids.

This is the story of why my name is Antoinette:

When my mom was a young adult, she had to escape Vietnam during the Vietnam War in the 1970s. She escaped by means of refugee boats where she spent countless weeks out in the open ocean, forced to drink her own urine at times to survive. When she finally came to the United States, she lived in Mobile, Alabama with a sponsor family. She then moved to New York where her cousin was currently being supported by a different sponsor family. This family was part of a church and it was in this church where my mom met the pastor's wife who helped her with life skills and English. This woman's name was Antoinette.

Somewhere down the timeline, she met my dad. They decided to get married and start a family resulting in me. My dad wanted to name me Vicki after Jill Whelan's character on the Love Boat (LOL) but my mom said otherwise and named me after a wonderful, beautiful, caring pastor's wife.

After gaining more perspective on why I was named so, I've learned to love my name.

007 Wisdom

Brush Your Teeth by candysores

Went to the dentist's today to get my annual check-up. Fortunately, no cavities and my teeth are in good shape. However, my lower wisdom teeth are slowly growing at a slight angle which might impact my precious pearls.

Why are wisdom teeth called "wisdom teeth"? I asked my dentist and she told me to look it up haha

According to Dr. Florine, these third molars "...usually erupt in the late teen years, which coincides with passage into adulthood and is referred to by some as the age of wisdom; hence 'wisdom teeth'".

I'm 21 now and I have seen a lot of people my age do dumbass things, myself included. It makes me wonder that the standards at which this time was dubbed "the age of wisdom" must have been much higher than it is today.

Speaking of wisdom...though I am no King Solomon, I've been blessed to receive a few pearls of wisdom myself.

I cannot change people: I cannot make you stop cutting yourself. I cannot make you believe I am still your friend when you push me and everyone away. I cannot make you less immature, cowardly, or selfish. I cannot control what you do but I can control what I do. As much as I want the best for you, it is ultimately your choice to be the change you want to be, for better or for worse.

Forgiveness: Gaining the ability to forgive is no easy feat. In fact, forgiveness is not a one time choice and you may spend your entire life forgiving to settle the matter in your heart. It is better to be free from anger, sadness, and pain through forgiveness than to live a life filled with spite and bitterness. Also, forgiveness does not deny responsibility of behavior so if the one who hurt you continues to be a dumbass, it's ok, let it be and simply love them haha.

I cannot rely on my own strength: Human strength can only go so far until we collapse under the weight of all our burdens and responsibilities. When you rely on your own reservoir of strength, what happens when this resource runs out? Or if we place our strength in someone and they fail us? We are helpless, weak, and vulnerable just like how we came out of the womb. I feel that it is important to put our strength in a higher power that is unlimited, ever-flowing, and never-failing. For some that may be an idea, deity, etc.

The latter part of this entry pretty much sums up the major lessons I have learned within the past 5 years. Thanks Steve, Jasmine, Joline, and Mike.

006

It feels so good to be blessed with wonderful, caring, and supportive parents like mine. It has been a long road on this faith journey and it will continue to be so. This is a little praise post for the Big Man upstairs and to mom and dad.

During dinner, my family and I got to talking about my trip to Egypt and how I would be determining whether if I wanted to do the kind of work in Egypt in Vietnam or something.

My mom started saying how angry she got at my aunt who was discouraging her saying things like, "Once your kids graduate, make sure they get a job right away!" "Egypt is way too dangerous! Why are you sending her there?"

To which my mom replied, "I know she's my only child but if she doesn't go, who will?" and then my mom told me, "I'm really proud of you Antoinette". I almost wanted to cry. I'm tearing up a little right now even haha.

Even though my parents and I believe in different faiths, I am grateful we agree on the value of doing good for the world's poor and giving back to the community.

♥♥♥

005 Anna

In my general biology class sophomore year, I asked Dr. Thomas what the order for penguins was. He didn't know so I looked it up myself. It's Sphenisciformes btw.

Penguins are quite the little gentlemen. They're pretty much fearless, social, and stay true to their mate (at least for the breeding season). Plus, they sport fashionable tuxedos that would even make Fred Astaire jealous.

To be a penguin for a day would be glorious. But I don't know if I would be comfortable looking like everyone else lol. Except for that guy second to the right.

dude. by bri-chan